In my time alone in Greece, I found that people are curious. I realized people are caring. People are empathetic, even if they don’t show it. Conversations are important, and it’s essential that you can start them yourself. Conversations are how we learn about others. By starting conversations, you create moments, memories, and find beauty in life. In conclusion, I believe connection is the beauty of life.
My First Weeks in Greece
During my first couple of weeks studying abroad in Greece, I’d go home after school and lie on the park benches. I’d lie there for an hour, maybe two, taking in the sunlight and listening to music. I told myself it was to be in the present moment, taking in the fact that I was in Greece, but really, I was just avoiding going home to be with all my roommates.
There were twelve of us in the dorm, with two to a room and two of us in singles. Naturally, I found the thought of going home after a day of being in a building with a bunch of random people I didn’t know, then going home to be in a building with a bunch of random people I didn’t know, to be overwhelming. Instead of doing that, I opted for walking the longest possible routes home, all because I feared conversation.
A Walk on the Town
It took me about two weeks before I had a real conversation with anyone at our place. I asked and answered questions: “Where are you from?”, “What do you study?”, “Do you want to walk to class together?” Walk to class together? To walk to class together meant we’d be alone together. It meant we had to be alone and walk in silence, or choose to speak. I chose to speak to her.
After my walk with Frida (who is now my best friend), I had a newfound determination to get every single roommate alone and talk with them. With one, I’d get dinner; with another, I’d meet at yoga; maybe we’d grab coffee on our way to school, or perhaps we’d study together or watch the sunset from the balcony.
In those twenty minutes walking to school, Frida and I shared many of our perspectives on life. We talked about our homes and our home countries. We discussed our love for our mothers and our respect for their characters. We related on how we loved and the way we viewed the world. I had flown across the ocean and met somebody from an entirely different part of the world, and somehow, we still shared the same outlook on it. I always knew how much I loved learning about other people and experiencing other cultures; that’s exactly why I studied abroad. However, it was at that moment I realized how much my shyness was getting in the way of those experiences. I had to overcome it in order to get the most out of my time alone in Greece. Being in a new country was the perfect opportunity for me to meet new people.
One Month, Eleven Friends
A month of living abroad in Greece, and I had formed eleven different relationships that didn’t feel superficial. Some were deeper connections than others, sure, but they all felt real. Reflecting on all the meetings I had, I was able to realize how similar people are. We are completely able to understand each other, but no one likes to ask questions before they assume. No one wants to bridge the gap between their life and one completely different from their own. No one realizes how small the gap is. Despite being from all over the world, with all different upbringings, it was like we shared life experiences, only wrapped in different lifestyles.
This is not to imply we don’t have unique experiences; life is nuanced, and we all experience it differently based on who we are and how the world sees and treats us. However, I do think I’ve come to a reliable conclusion: you’re never really alone. Now that I write this, it seems incredibly obvious, but I truly didn’t understand it until now.
Don’t Limit Yourself to Loneliness
I grew up as an only child, and for a lot of my life, I had to take care of myself. I found it hard to trust others, and because of how often I moved, I never wanted to get too attached. To do this, I kept my conversations at a surface level. No one ever truly knew me, and as a result, I never truly knew anyone. I had manufactured my own loneliness out of fear of being hurt, misguided, or left behind.
I now wonder if I had those conversations earlier—the deep ones—I would have understood sooner who was meant for me and who wasn’t. Who do I connect with, and with whom do I struggle? These days, I try to get over my fear of conversation. I approach people, ask questions, learn about them, and have the gratifying experience of learning about the world. In conclusion, if there is one thing I learned from living abroad alone, it’s this: I cannot say I’m lonely and then continue to limit myself to loneliness. I’ve already missed out on so much by doing so. So, reader, don’t be like me—go have a conversation. It doesn’t have to be anything deep, just a simple, random conversation. A random conversation took me all the way to Greece, and it could take you somewhere beautiful too.
